November 2011

Pictures tell the story of our lives:

Diggin potatoes with Mema and Papa!

Ella's First Day of Preschool!

Leah and Logan's First Day of Kindergarten

Ella the Fairy Princess!!!

Just like Big Sisters!!!

Logan at Dance Class!

Leah the Ballerina

Ella and Isaac's Baptism

Our TRUE Kids!!!

Moving...

Yep…we're moving in A direction. One moment I believe that we making strides in the direction toward healing and bonding and attachment. Other moments, albeit fewer and farther between, the side steps and the backward walking is a necessary process of this journey. This is all understood that being at home with Ella during this very difficult time for all of us is not only very important but yep…you got it…very taxing on this momma! Ya love her, ya &*%&^% her! Then you love her again and pray that you end on a good note for the evening!!!! Over all, in the few weeks that therapy has been in session…we have had some amazing conversations with Ella and some really poignant topics have come up and out. I'm thrilled to have her be able to share this with me..her MOMMY!

Life continues to move on for all of the others in addition to Ella as well. Isaac is the spawn of a monster. He's approaching 2 years old and he could be the Devil in disguise. He is a wuss for all thinks that go "BUMP" and is the instigator for all of the other things. He's cute but that's all. What a set of lungs and an attitude on that child…..oye!!!!

Leah and Logan….fun, fun, fun! Leah has 2 new therapists here in the home who are amazing and are pushing her little buns right through to amazing heights. I never knew, or even imagined that I would be spending my teacher salary to pay teachers for my kids…but what an important investment!

Logan is Queen Sassy. She thinks she knows it all, can do it all and WILL do it all. Just because I am who I am, I will let her try and then I will be there to wipe her tears and then show her how it's done!!!! That's my sass coming out!!! She's a lot of fun right now….just a growing up toooooooo fast!

We are just coming home from a trip from the Cottage at Higgins and rushing to prepare for a SURPRISE trip to Disney. None of the kids know…SSSSSHHHHHHH…they will be told on Saturday with a treasure hunt that will be recorded. Then we will all fly out of Flint on Sunday at 7. So, adios MI…hope to NOT see you again!

Josh and I are hanging in. Josh is busy…at work right now (10 at night) trying to catch up on items before vacation!!! I am in bed, where I've been a lot. My heart is a mess and I'm trying to barrel through…just if you don't know…HEART MEDICATION STINKS IN EVERY WAY SHAPE AND FORM!

We will try to update, at least on Facebook, some pics and I can add some here!

Love to all-

Kristin

Next Step

I've waited such a long time to write this post. I've eluded toward the topic, made some pretty leading statements. Even said some things that may have seemed, to some, as raw or inconsiderate. I don't regret what I have said, nor what has been done. If any of you know me well enough, that's one of my goals in life: To live without regret.

You are all wondering what I am referring to here, right? I am referring to the fact that Josh and I have stepped into the world of attachment therapy with Ella Miheret. We began our counseling journey a couple of weeks back together, but tonight was Ella's first night with Mr. Kurt. We are on our way to finding the new Knight Family norm…a calmer, happier and more loving norm than for the past 10 months.

Adoption is a magical journey through which God has made me a stronger, more confident individual; a more patient and playful person. Adoption of an older child (age 3) was always explained to us as different in terms of needs and post-adoption care and follow-through. We knew, read, understood. WRONG! Every "older" child comes home to their forever family with such individualized needs, past lives, birth stories, etc. that no forever family can be totally prepared if not for being a therapist themselves!

Our home has been turned up-side-down in terms of emotional stability for all of its members. Our once calm home of 4 humans and 2 dogs, has turned into an emotional nightmare based on how Ella is handling a situation. Thus, in turn, how mom and dad react to Ella's behaviors. The Knight house has been just that for 10 months…a house…not a home. We need this to be a home. A place of comfort FOR ALL, a place of fun and happiness FOR ALL, and a place for appropriate behaviors and consequences FOR ALL.

Counseling will be for Dad, Mom and Ella sorting through some feelings left from Ethiopia as well as talking about transitioning into a family of 6 in the USA. This is a long and tangled process. Please support us in our attachment and family-bonding process. We will be parenting with consistency yet with different boundaries based on child. This is important for all of you to know so you don't feel a need to judge, but can lend a supportive shoulder after the consequences are handed out as well as the cuddles and chats are completed too!

So, if you wonder, do I regret the adoption….NO WAY!!!! Do I regret I didn't get the counseling sooner? Not really. I think I had to be ready in order to do all of the things that we need to do in order to help Ella understand what is happening. With all things with adoption, the timing is right when it's supposed to be! Do I love Ella? You betcha! She's got lots more great things in her than not! Ella's gonna change the world for the better! I know it!!!!

If any of you have questions about our decision for counseling or about our journey since we've been home, please ask me. I'm on Facebook, email, or here. I'm trying to use this type of post to help others. I had never read one blog of someone I knew that went through this. Just ask!!

FINALLY? REALLY?

Now's the time to FINALLY write a post. Now's the time to sit and reflect on…ummm…how many months has it been? REALLY??? AAAH!

I've basically felt like this next post has been hanging over my head for as long as I haven't written. But who REALLY has the time to spend on a blog post? Well, me…FINALLY, REALLY!

We are beating to a different drummer these days. One beat to the twins' agenda, one beat to Ella's agenda, another to Isaac's…but we just can't seem to get those beats into any kind of rhythm. But we just keep on marching, so…FINALLY…updates:

Leah is doing amazing! She continues to have daily ABA/VB therapy but with a new teacher. Miss Morgan is her name…and she's great! Leah looks forward to her daily sessions and is making awesome progress. Leah and I have recently had our first back and forth conversation together. Upon reflection, I can't really believe that it's been nearly 6 years of always talking towards or at Leah…but it's awe inspiring that I REALLY did have that conversation! Leah finished up preschool and has graduated to kindergarten. The excitement sometimes overwhelms her and she just can't control herself at this fact! Leah is also involved in youth soccer and enjoyed the preferred hip-hop class! She's ready for the real world!

Logan is also doing amazing things. We like to call her the "alpha" in this family as she is a little-mommy, a little boss, and the ring master of the kid-circus. The girl talks like she's 16 but still aches for that cuddle time! Oh---the in-between!!!! Logan has also graduated preschool and will move on to "high school"…in her words and mind! Guess she's got this whole school thing figured out more than all of us!!!! She's also been a great soccer player….very aggressive on the field, and a very smooth hip-hopper! She's got some Latina flair, that's for sure!

Little Miss Ella has also graduated her first round of preschool. She will return to preschool in the fall for some much needed Americanized education and socialization. Teachers told us at conferences she was the mild, meek and silent girl in class. REALLY? My jaw nearly dropped to the floor when these statements came out of the teacher's mouth. She IS NOT any of those…REALLY! Ella is playing youth soccer too. They call her "the little scrapper"! She's not afraid to get in there and just kick….kick the ball, kick the air, kick others. Whatever it takes to get that ball down the field! Ella has nearly mastered English…what an amazing process to witness and be a part of. Frustrating at times, but WOW! She is receiving speech therapy as she has quite the accent from her first languages. She is also getting glasses. Yep, they're gonna be pink…like her wardrobe!

Isaac is all-boy!!! Oh boy is he all boy! Bumps, bruises, bloody lipS! He's all about being outside and with his older sisters…at all times! He's mastered the slide and swinging on his tummy! He's also daddy's sidekick on the John Deere lawn tractor. Josh doesn't drive that silly thing without Isaac on his knee. I'm sure Josh is tickled…having his little man LOVE the tractor. I can imagine Josh talking to Isaac while on the mower saying, "Now see Isaac, straight diagonals are the most important while mowing!" Isaac is now talking in phrases, running like a chicken with his head cut off, starting to be quite agile on stairs, all while maintaining a detestable temper! OYE VAY…the boy has an attitude! Thank goodness he's cute with deep dimples!

Josh and I are learning a new norm for the household. It's still an act of survival and a feeling of nearly drowning each day! Every once in a while, we act like we got these parenting and attachment things licked…other times not so much. The kids remain to try to adjust to family life with more siblings than ever before as well as to family in general. We try to parent 4 very different children with some fairness and equality as well as adjust to the hectic schedule of working, soccer, hip hop, therapy and the most necessary-family time.

So, FINALLY an update. I hope to be able to update and post more as summer approaches and I get a break from teaching! Stay tuned for more adventures. I promise, REALLY!

What's Been Happening, You Ask?

The Holiday's are over, January is behind us, even Valentine's Day has come and gone. Winter of 2011 is steadily moving along. In all honesty, it can't move fast enough for this wanna-be southerner! But, still here in Michigan, we have made it thus far this new year.

...BARELY...

Let me tell you, 2010 had nuttin' on 2011! Shoo-weeee! Eleven has got us over the knee so far!

January really wasn't so bad! Just a bit of snow to make everything white and icy! Not to mention to make for dicey driving for this commuter. That 50 minute drive turned into something more like 75-80 minutes most mornings, and continues to be so.

February, on the other hand, has flown this family two tall 'birds'...for lack of a better phrase. I can't even put my finger on a date of when all this whole hoopla began, but it hasn't ended yet and it's now the 22nd. Let me try to outline this all for you:

• Ella falls sick: sinus infection with croup-y cough - no day care/school
• Logan falls sick: same crap, 4 days later - no day care/school
• Day care provider falls sick: Strain of influenza - no day care for 5 days for all 4 kids!
• Did I mention that I'm almost out of sick days to use at school...Dad takes kids to work...Coo-Coo!!!! (Adoption+Leah in hospital=1 day left!!!)
• Mom falls sick and goes to ER on Sunday morning: Kidney stones...passed one, one to go (Morphine and Vicodin help, but cannot cover this pain!) - 1 day off for me...Dr's orders!
• Leah falls sick: Ear infection - no day care or school
• Mom has skin cancer removed - 12 external stitches with many more on sub-q layer

You can say that this is an exhaustive list...but it's not! I didn't put down the fact that each kid had their own turn at the Dr. My mom, Mema, was over for what must have seemed like a hundred+ hours watching the kids between her work and 'life' schedule. Josh and I both tried to work in between this mess! We are just hoping that this month will soon end and March will NOT COME IN LIKE A LION...but rather stroll in like a tame little putty-tat! We could use a break, I think. Or is this what we signed on for?