A Better Mom

I heard some news yesterday that is going to make me a better mom, I just know! I thought I was a good mom to both of my girls, in fact I still think I am. But I got a little nudge to be a better mom to one of the girls. *sigh*

We continue to have Leah's doctors write monthly ABA programs for her, view videos of us working with her, critique our intervention/therapy style, provide guidance, etc. Well, last night in one of our monthly meetings to discuss Leah's latest program and critique of intervention, one of the Docs said to me, "Have you watched the videos of yourself teaching?" I simply said no. I'm thinking, no freaking way! I had on red pants, a pink shirt and it was a long day at work. Are you joking!?! She continued on to say, "You really basically ignore Logan."

*******GULP********

Then she went on to say that it was obvious that I was trying to get Leah's skills in the video and trying to get the focus of the video to be on Leah, but all of those things WILL ADD UP in Logan's emotional being...and that's not okay!

I know that I (and Josh) put an emphasis on Leah. Autism takes a lot out of a family and takes a lot of devotion from us as parents. But what Autism CANNOT do is take away from Logan. So what am I to do? Devote more, individualized time to Logan. Simple. A better mom to Logan by simply saying, "LET'S PLAY, YOU AND ME!" Now that's something I can do!

It's not easy to hear those kinds of words. But it is altering. And it is important. I needed to hear that. Logan needed me to hear that!

As Promised...

Prime Time Picnic

Holy Static, Super Hero!

Tulips at MSU

Logan and Leah are Princesses for the Day at the Cinderella Ballet!

Logan the Entertainer...always!

Leah has NO Fear!

Sleeping Twins...."aaaah"!

Logan decorating Papa with Dora Stickers...what a sport!

Rockin' Out on the Harley!

Beachy Beauty!

Still Waiting

Yes...we are...still waiting that is. Hrumph! I know, I have issues with it too! My heart even aches about it! But I still get butterflies thinking about the time I will get a phone call and our consultant will say those magic words, "Kristin, we have a referral for you."

But, we still haven't heard them and it's been a bit over 8 months of waiting on "the list". Unfortunately the list seems to get longer as people who's names are on before us continue to 'expand their preferences' for children so our wait time continues to expand as well. What does this mean? It means that if someone on the list before us said that they preferred a girl that was 0-8 months when they initially applied to the program, they could now change their preferences to 0-18 months. Which then would make the child from 9-18 months that could have been our referral become theirs...get it? Families change preference for various reasons...it's just something we have to accept. It's a lot to wrap your head around...but all in all, I'm trying to remind myself over and over, just as I did when we went through this process with the girls, that this is God's plan and we're on His time here. There is not one other explanation for how this process works. He's leading us down this path.

You will all know when we do get that phone call though...I'll be shouting it loud and clear...for ALL to hear! My heart will be beating in my toes and my throat...but I'll still be able to sing His praises and share our joy!

Maybe the power of MASS prayer will help in this process...comm'on...say a little one for us...God MUST be tired of hearing my same 'ole words! I'm sure you all can do us good!

Yep, I'm Wearing A Cape!

You know that only super heroes wear capes, right? Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman! Well, count me in that selected group!!! Oh yeah!!!

Let me take a few steps backward and explain my journey into hero-dom!!!

Although I don't work full time in the Deaf Education program at MSU any more I do still teach a course on Friday afternoons. I love to teach in the program, it keeps me fresh in the field and I love to be on campus! CAMPUS...a place where I know there is some degree of crime, but in all of my undergrad, grad and working years, I've never been a part of it. Until my last class of the semester, Spring 2010!

I teach a class in a technology enabled classroom in the tech center of the education building on campus. It's a pretty bitchin' room, if I do say so myself! And it's connected to a main center with some really bitchin' tech! We're blessed! My class is made-up of 9 young women. We sat in this glassed-in tech room, with our laptops open and making their final presentations and all of a sudden......BBBBBBUUUUUUUUUUUUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ! The fire alarm is buzzing at a decibel I cannot begin to describe!

We all begin to run out thinking that it's after building hours, so either it's a bomb threat or a real fire and one of my students says, "Take all of your things! 2 years ago this very thing happened and it was fake and my purse was stolen!" So we rushed to pack our bags, computers and purses to head out to the courtyard behind the building. SHHHHOOOOO-WWEEEEE, we were all out safely with all of our things...my students were safe and I did my job!

Then, strangely enough, as we are huddled together outside wondering if we will be able to return to class (which I was so not wanting to at that point) a man went wandering down the hall INSIDE toward our tech room and made EYE CONTACT with two of our students. Can you say creepy? We didn't think much of this until the police who arrive said, "Hey, if someone runs out these doors, can you call 9-1-1?" What the eff? Are you kidding me?!?! 10 chicks all on their cells calling as a big dude comes out with computers and tech in his hands...aaaah, no! Yep, that very dude that made eye contact with my students pulled the fire alarm to clear the building so he could go into the tech center and take what he wanted. I have NO DOUBT that if we didn't take our laptops those would have been easy pickin' first and foremost. I guess he's been doing this all over campus for a long time.

So, nevertheless, in the end, the bad guy was caught. He wouldn't admit to doing anything so they were going to dust for prints...sooooo cool! We had to ID him. I had to show the police our room and how he got into the tech center...I saw the damage he did to the tech center. Why the hell do people dig through the trash when their main point is to steal a computer? That part STILL confuses me?! And the other thing I don't like was that our class, full of women was being watched by this guy. CREEPY and not OKAY!

But, I came home, had a drink (a fruity, yummy one) and have a great crime stopper story to tell! And my students ended their undergrad program like heroes!!!!

Yeah...It All Gets Away From Me

Yeah, the laundry, the floors, the toy pick-up, keeping up with friends that live less than 10 minutes away, blogging...it all gets away from me! I seem to fill my time with so many other things these days! Like going outside with the girls, working this new job (it ain't my dream job, but the people are waaaay fun!), teaching at MSU and grading all of their freakin' assignments! But I do enjoy blogging...and I have a sneaky suspicion that many of you like to know our ups and downs!

So, let's get to it...since I'm here!

Well, the girls are great! The Easter Bunny brought a new tea set and big-girl bikes. Not to mention a whole bunch of candy! They got a total kick out of the egg hunts...yes, huntS...PLURAL! They couldn't get enough of the goodies inside of the little colored buggers that we had to keep hiding the plastic jobs! Cripe!

Easter Sunday was a great day though! We had my family over and we had Josh's ribs and chicken. I joked that these were Jesus' fav's! Whatev! We flew kites, ate yummy food and listened to Dad and Ken III snore in the living room. It ain't a holiday until... One thing that was missed was the pitter-pat of Grandma Kohls' scuttling feet and her saying, "Isn't that great?" when referring to the girls and cousins hunting for eggs or the beautiful kites in the sky.

Man, I miss that lady! I've been having dreams about her almost nightly. Really awkward dreams...but she's there, with me, and I'm with her. I think I need her, in some way yet. It's so hard to let go of a person that was so profound in my life!!!! Anyway, she's watching every move now....uh-oh!

As for the adoption of our little one...NO MOVEMENT! And I'm getting...well...for lack of a better word...pissed! (Whoops, did I say that?) Things have been stagnant for 2 months now. I have went from checking in with the adoption agency on a monthly basis or so, to every 2 weeks to now checking in every Monday morning. Too effing bad consultants...I hate to bug you, but I need peace of mind that you know I'm here and we want a baby to be part of our family! PERIOD! **Walking off of soapbox**

So, sorry for the lack of pictures too. We got a new, fan-dangled camera. I have no CLUE how to upload from this big-daddy yet. When I do, you're gonna see some amazing pictures! Yeah, that's a, "when..."! :)

So, I'll be in touch. Hopefully with news of a referral...soon!