Looking...

Yep...I'm looking again! I know, I'm looking all of the time. But I can't seem to find what really makes me happy! Looking, you ask? Looking for what, you ask?

I'm looking for the ONE job that makes me feel like I'm doing my life's work! I can't seem to find that! I know that I had it when I taught kiddos who were deaf or hard of hearing in Ionia County. But I left that for a once in a lifetime opportunity at Michigan State. That was soooo cool! But it just didn't last...then ever since that, my professional life has been a...well...er, um, aaah, jeesh, a F^%#$&G Mess!!!!!! (did I just say that!?) Yep, it's not that I hate where I'm working now, it's just that it's not with kiddos, with my kiddos! That's what's wrong right now. Not happy in my work. And to leave my kids everyday, to miss them growing, changing, playing and being the little ladies that they are, I want to LOVE the work that I do...

I always said I'd never want to be a stay-at-home mom because I'd go crazy or because I am in love with my profession...um, not so any more! Deaf education is still a passion but my babies are it for me! That's all I want to do and think about! I LOVE BEING A MOM! Now that we're adding to our family, I seem to be begging Josh to let me be a full-time mom or even a part-time working mom. His answer is always the same...silence, eye roll, and an exasperated "NO!" Why do I always have to be the insurance gatherer for our family? Why does insurance have to mandate how we raise our children? Grrrrrr.... I'd love to start a preschool or do something with kids on my own...and not be under the thumb of others...but damn the insurance! Any suggestions, I'm looking for 'em? If you got 'em, I want to hear 'em because I want to turn over a new leaf and change my life and my children's!!!! Seriously...what am I to do here??? HELP!!! :)

Referral!!!!!!!

REFERRAL DAY!!!!!!

JUNE 8, 2010!!!!! The phone rang at 4:00!!!! "Kristin..." AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Yes, Tuesday June 8th, 2010 was our 2n referral day! *sigh*

We'd like to announce the referral of Miheret! She's 3 1/2 years old and currently in the capital city of Addis Ababa, Ethiopia! She's absolutely beautiful! Her skin is completely silken and her eyes tell stories, just as Leah and Logan's did years ago. She is tall for 3 1/2, but we often compare children to Leah and Logan and we know that they are wee!!!! She is very healthy!!! No, we cannot share pictures with you, just as with Leah and Logan's adoption, until our court date. This should be in 6 (or so weeks). At this point, she will be our daughter and we can share her beauty with all of you. If you happen to visit with us, we can share her picture with you!!!

Surprise!!!!! Miheret will be joining the Knight Family with a baby brother!!! Yonas is 9 months old and just as healthy as her!!!! He has big brown eyes like his older sister, Leah...and big kissable lips!!!! Both children are in the same orphanage in Addis! Haha...surprise to all of you!!!!!

The next step is to wait for a court date within the capital city of Addis! This SHOULD be within 6-8 weeks...but this is a new procedure for the adoption process of ET adoptions. So, we'll roll with the punches on that one! That trip should be 6-7 days. Then we come home...prepare some more...and return to ET to bring the children home in an additional 4-8 weeks after that. I'm guessing October for an arrival date?! But that's purely a mother's guess!

Thus, we'd like to announce the addition of "Ella Miheret" and Isaac Yonas"!!!!!! Yes...6...a family of 6!

A Better Mom

I heard some news yesterday that is going to make me a better mom, I just know! I thought I was a good mom to both of my girls, in fact I still think I am. But I got a little nudge to be a better mom to one of the girls. *sigh*

We continue to have Leah's doctors write monthly ABA programs for her, view videos of us working with her, critique our intervention/therapy style, provide guidance, etc. Well, last night in one of our monthly meetings to discuss Leah's latest program and critique of intervention, one of the Docs said to me, "Have you watched the videos of yourself teaching?" I simply said no. I'm thinking, no freaking way! I had on red pants, a pink shirt and it was a long day at work. Are you joking!?! She continued on to say, "You really basically ignore Logan."

*******GULP********

Then she went on to say that it was obvious that I was trying to get Leah's skills in the video and trying to get the focus of the video to be on Leah, but all of those things WILL ADD UP in Logan's emotional being...and that's not okay!

I know that I (and Josh) put an emphasis on Leah. Autism takes a lot out of a family and takes a lot of devotion from us as parents. But what Autism CANNOT do is take away from Logan. So what am I to do? Devote more, individualized time to Logan. Simple. A better mom to Logan by simply saying, "LET'S PLAY, YOU AND ME!" Now that's something I can do!

It's not easy to hear those kinds of words. But it is altering. And it is important. I needed to hear that. Logan needed me to hear that!

As Promised...

Prime Time Picnic

Holy Static, Super Hero!

Tulips at MSU

Logan and Leah are Princesses for the Day at the Cinderella Ballet!

Logan the Entertainer...always!

Leah has NO Fear!

Sleeping Twins...."aaaah"!

Logan decorating Papa with Dora Stickers...what a sport!

Rockin' Out on the Harley!

Beachy Beauty!

Still Waiting

Yes...we are...still waiting that is. Hrumph! I know, I have issues with it too! My heart even aches about it! But I still get butterflies thinking about the time I will get a phone call and our consultant will say those magic words, "Kristin, we have a referral for you."

But, we still haven't heard them and it's been a bit over 8 months of waiting on "the list". Unfortunately the list seems to get longer as people who's names are on before us continue to 'expand their preferences' for children so our wait time continues to expand as well. What does this mean? It means that if someone on the list before us said that they preferred a girl that was 0-8 months when they initially applied to the program, they could now change their preferences to 0-18 months. Which then would make the child from 9-18 months that could have been our referral become theirs...get it? Families change preference for various reasons...it's just something we have to accept. It's a lot to wrap your head around...but all in all, I'm trying to remind myself over and over, just as I did when we went through this process with the girls, that this is God's plan and we're on His time here. There is not one other explanation for how this process works. He's leading us down this path.

You will all know when we do get that phone call though...I'll be shouting it loud and clear...for ALL to hear! My heart will be beating in my toes and my throat...but I'll still be able to sing His praises and share our joy!

Maybe the power of MASS prayer will help in this process...comm'on...say a little one for us...God MUST be tired of hearing my same 'ole words! I'm sure you all can do us good!