Isaac...AKA...I-Man...AKA..I y'I

Here I am again, this time to properly introduce (as properly as it can possibly be on a blog) the youngest Knight! Here he is: Isaac Yonas Joshua Knight!!!

Isaac: Another name that we simply just liked. The name sounds appropriate for all ages, for a boy or a man of Ethiopian ethnicity and it started with a vowel! Teehee! Sorry, so superficial on the last criteria, I know! There were other first names that we were throwing around, but this one was thrown out and it stuck...fast!

Yonas: We also informed Isaac's birth mother that we would be keeping his birth name and she was grateful, but I don't think she ever expected us to change his name anyway. She looked almost shocked, in my opinion, that we would even consider changing his name. So, I guess I would have to say it was a look of relief on her face and in her body language. She didn't say anything about it. I'm okay with that.

Joshua: Named for his Daddy, of course! Named for the sleepless man who wakes each and every night, every 2-3 hours to feed this hungry little thing! Named for the Daddy who never thought he would have a son to raise but seemed so proud to say for the first time, "That's my son!" Gives my butterflies every time I think about that...yet!

Who is that Little Boy with the Dimples and Curly Soft Hair????

Okay, you have to admit, no matter how much your child poops, projectile vomits, cries during the day or plays in the middle of the night, DIMPLES make everything better, right??? Well, Isaac has some of the cutest dimples carved into his brown little cheeks that a little boy could ever have. Not to mention some of the most amazing soft curls of black hair on top of that little head! Oye, he's a heart breaker! I just could eat him up! MMMM, MMMMM, MMMMMMM!

You may have caught the fact that this little cutie is no little angel...he is one of the worst sleepers in the hemisphere; he has a temper of a rabid beast. I mean, this little boy will turn on the water works for the simple reason of walking out of a room without him, a toy isn't turned the right direction, or he's having a diaper change. I mean comm'on...Isaac...I saw how the caretakers changed your diaper at Enat Alem...I know for a fact that they tied that cloth diaper so tight that it literally almost made your belly button pop back open. Now that's something to cry about. I'm gentle, I'm caressing, I'm soothing, I'm helpful...don't cry, scream, turn, fuss, and create a scene! Really now!

Playing

I y'I has a few little things he likes to do that we would consider playing.

• Sitting on the trampoline and letting his big sisters bounce him. Good times for any 18 pounder!
• Zooming cars down a little race car track...a bit repetitive, but still fun for him after, oh about 1,600 runs down the track. More good times!
• Anything outside...he's an outdoors man!
• Folding clothes. Actually he enjoys taking a quick ride on top of the warm laundry in the laundry basket from the dryer to the spot where I'm gonna fold. Then he "folds" the clothes by throwing up a handful and doing a quick crawl-dash under them so the warm (once-clean) clothes land on his head and back. Yeah, it's cute...his sweet giggle adds to the joy!

Bonding and Attachment

We're attached, bonded, stuck, glued, forever a trio! Isaac has great eye contact, hates when we put him down, cries when we leave, and has some stranger anxiety. Bonded...period! YEAH!!!! And I'm completely bonded and attached to him too!

Sleep

He doesn't get enough, thus we don't get enough. The boy enjoys his time awake in the middle of the night...what can I say. We've tried so many things. You all could post your comments about, "try this" and "try that". I'd reply, "been there", "done that". Because we have. He doesn't sleep well nor does he nap well. He's like a robot...a feisty little robot!

Eating

Because Isaac came home so incredibly anemic and with that awful virus, he is on both iron supplemented as well as soy formula. So he gets this when he signs for it and on a schedule! Yes, he tells us he's hungry using his sign language!!! He's amazing! We did try baby foods for him too, so we were sure to balance his diet and nutritional intake. Bah! This muncher needed real-man food! Haha! Ix-Nay on the baby foods! He's all about whatever is on the table for the rest of us!!! AMEN! This is sooooo much easier! Leah and Logan were on baby foods for sooooooo long and this is cake in comparison! He's a machine with food! Starting at 4:30 or so, he'll eat an hors' devour (snack), then dinner, then a post hors' devour (some of our dinner), then a bottle before bed. Oh yeah, he's gained some weight...and grown some hair and his nails are growing, and, and, and!!!! (as you'll see in the pic below, he also likes to do his feedings on his own...aka spaghetti face)

And that is Isaac in a nutshell! He's a typical fun-loving baby boy with a bit of a temper! The temper will serve him well some day...it could cool off this early in life, but we can handle anything! Clearly!!!!!

Ella - - - She's Home!!!!!

We'd like to introduce our daughter, with her full given name, Ella Miheret Sidama Knight. Let me explain her name to all of you!!!

Ella: We just like it! Timeless, simple, sweet, ageless, not an "L" but close!

Miheret: Her birth name as given to her by her birth parents. This is very important to us as to preserve who she IS. It was also very special to her birth father! He bowed his head in gratefulness when we told him that we would keep her birth name. As many of you know, we also kept the twins' birth names as middle names. Very special to us now and forever!

Sidama: A last minute decision on our part! We didn't know what to do with this third name...but all of the other children had 2 middle names so we felt that we wanted to do this for Ella too. We thought, tried, processed...nothing seemed right. When we were in Ethiopia visiting the region that she was born in, we learned of the area she was from. It is called Sidama. It's also the name of the language her village speaks as well as the name of the calendar that her village uses. Thus, "Sidama" is part of Ella. It only seemed appropriate and the best fit for her! Each time we use the word, call her by this particular name, she gets all giddy and says, "E-pee-oo-pee-a"!!!

Life As We Know It

I probably could write a complete non-fiction about Ella and the experiences that we've shared in the short time she's been home, but I will do my best to share only the ones that I feel will be most beneficial to other families who are planning to bring home children who are "older" versus under a year of age, as well as for those of you who just will get some idea of what we, as couples who choose build our families through adoption, 'go through' or deal with as a result of bring home a child who is 'older'. Not to mention for those of you who are dear friends that are reading this to see, 'where the heck have they gone since they brought home those two other kiddos???' You want to know...wheelin' and dealin' with a whole lot of everything!

Rules

Rules-schmules! No-Schmo! Boundaries-Schmoundaries! We believe Ella has CLEARLY been parented to a much different standard than our's!!! She has no concept of living within a home, with doors, that contain her which do not allow her to do what she pleases at any given time. She has a limited concept of an adult telling her no and then having that same adult follow through with that "no". AKA - Parenting 101 in the USA. She responds with a resounding gut wrenching, tearful, snot-filled, saliva-dripping screaming fit where she refuses all eye and verbal contact. If you've ever tried to force a child to look at you or talk to you, you just can't do it. I know this from working with students who are Deaf. Ella is no exception to this rule. She just adds the bodily fluid element to the fun!

Following the rules of being in a family are becoming easier for Ella and she is having fewer meltdowns. For this, I thank God. No adoption readings, trainings, or discussions with other parents can prepare anyone to deal with this effectively and efficiently the first, second or third time. I think we've got it now...think! But anyone who tells you, "Oh she just needs a good hug!" No, I disagree. She needs a million good hugs after a million consistent effective follow-throughs!!!!

Playing

Having siblings is something brand new for Ella. And to boot, she's now the middle child! Oye vay! Playing with an older set of twins, who often seem to 'have it out for her' is a challenge. It would be for any little one! She's often a fan of wanting to play with whatever Leah, Logan or even Isaac has in their hands. I often wonder, is this because she sees how to play with this toy now because she didn't know how before or is it because she wants that attention from us, positive or negative (it simply doesn't matter to her!!!)

Pretend play is her specialty though! One of the best is her coffee ceremony specialty! She goes out to our mini crab apple tree with my dad, picks a bunch of the apples, 'roasts' them, 'grinds' them by smashing them, then fans the coals of the plastic tupperware! So cute!!! She's also got great ethnic dancing skills. She loves to me how to shake my shoulders!!!! Her culture is thick and I am in love with it all! I want her to hold on to that in her play...but it's already fading. :(

Bonding and Attachment

We're still working on this. It's really slow for us. I'll be honest...she's a frustrating kiddo. I'm not gonna sugar coat this whole process for anyone who is going through an adoption of an older child...homecoming is awesome and a miracle! I do believe God placed this child in my heart, family and made her my daughter. I know that her birth family was led to make this decision by the hand of God. I will admit I've needed to count and breathe many a-time with all that happens in our home with the kids. I DO LOVE HER without hesitation, and I think she is beginning to love me!

She has not formed a strong attachment to either Josh or myself. She knows that we are mommy and daddy and knows home and her siblings. But she's also very happy to go with other people as well as complete strangers. This is cause for concern for me yet. I know it's only been a short time home living in a family structure and with us; I seem to want this to happen sooner than it probably can. I need to remind myself of all of the things that she has experienced and seen for the first time EVER, let alone gotten a mommy and daddy and a home with walls, doors and stairs. I also need to remind myself of all of the things that she experienced and learned that were appropriate in Ethiopia and in her birth family that simply aren't by our American standards. It's a slow learning curve for me. But it's a constant reminder I must give to myself.

Sleep

This has gotten MUCH better. Let's just say it used to be the same bodily fluid scream session with each nap and bedtime, but we're over that! We just have to be in her room as she falls asleep now, then we can let her rest all night! Amen!

Eating

While in Ethiopia, Ella ate all ethnic/cultural food. She loved injera!!!! In our hotel in Ethiopia she loved all of the "American" snacks and dinner foods that we brought with us...The American snacks and foods did NOT like her intestinal tract. She still has some real indigestion with certain foods that she eats. She eats almost anything...but fruit. Are you kidding...fruit?! I guess it's because there weren't many fresh fruits available to her as she grew up. She is more of a legume kind of girl!!! Go figure!!!! Nevertheless, she's also a Mylanta Kids kind of girl too!

Age

We brought home a 3 year 9 month old girl. Today we are raising a 2 year 11 month old girl. Huh, you ask?! Haha!!! We noticed Ella was a teeny-tiny-tot when we visited in July. When we came home with her, we talked to the pediatrician and she ordered a bone age test. This is simply an X-ray of the hand and wrist bones and they can approximate a child's age from those bones. Result = 2 1/2->3 years of age. Thus, with the doctor's documentation we will be changing her birth date from 2006 to 2007...didn't know we could do that, did ya?!

So, that's Ella in a nutshell. She's a dynamic, complex, happy, lovable little girl who is full of Ethiopian culture but is absorbing American culture and English every second of every day that she is HOME! We are more than thrilled to have her as our daughter, to love this little girl, to live, laugh and play with her like she has never experienced before!

Life as We Know It...Part II

Logan...Next Oldest Sister (by 2 minutes)

Logan, Logan, Logan...where do I begin with Logan? *sigh* Logan has been a dichotomy of emotions, behaviors, and words. True to form for a 5 year old little Miss, but Logan shined with new and sometimes amazing colors with the transformation of this family, but also glowed red with fire!

When we arrived home, Logan seemed to have most maternal-like instinct toward Ella and Isaac. She wanted to feed and nurture Isaac (helped to change one stinky diaper with that foul bum, and that was the end of that!), play non-stop with Ella and simply be Mommy's little helper. What a joy Logan was to have!

Day 3...

No, I'm kidding! It wasn't exactly day 3, but it didn't take Logan too long to understand that these kids were invading her territory and her 'Mom and Dad-time' was being taken. Thus, this resulted in a bit of p!$$ and vinegar to run her veins! I'm talking about, "No, I didn't poke Ella in the eye then shake her by the shoulders then call her sassy, Mom."

Mom: "Logan, is that the truth?"

Logan: "NO!"

or

Mom: "Logan, could you unlock the baby gate to let Ella up the stairs please."

Logan's action: Go to the gate and sneer at Ella.

Mom and Logan have had some evenings together, some FRANK discussions, and some discussions about how God truly wants us to act as his people. We have had some sleep overs in her bed, some sleep overs in my bed (on top of me! OYE) and just some plain cuddling time! We have even implemented a positive behavior intervention tool (teacher talk for bribe)! I tried to talk with Logan that our house and the way it 'is', is just different now. It's busier, it's louder, it's just different. Well, one day she told me, out of the blue, "Mama, I don't want my house to be different." That's all it took for me that day. *Tears, tears, tears* I lost it! And she knew what made me lose it! So a few days later, in a moment of, what shall we say, !stress!, Logan pulls out the 'ole, "I just don't want our house to be different." *NO tears*

Ella and Isaac have now been home for 5 weeks and all of this "Hands are for helping", "Use words first", "Telling the truth is God's way" is slow to sink in. I'm talking G-L-A-C-I-A-L movement. She knows what is right from wrong, but 'gol-darn-it, that Ella is just too darn frustrating to control it, I guess!?

At school, Logan is doing great! The teacher's have commented how much she has grown up since last year, how her sentences describing things are so much better. Behavior isn't an issue when some little sister isn't around!!! Go figure?!

But this isn't to say that Ella and Logan never get along. They do occasionally have some excellent play sessions. I mean, fire and ice go together during magic shows, don't they? :) They like to play dress up and play babies. Ella will play hide and seek and Logan is the director of that! Both will do family game night without too much problem, as long as Ella "doesn't cheat" according to Logan! Teehee! But when Logan's had enough or when Ella wants what Logan's got...game over...watch out...TKO!

I love my Logan for what she is doing. She is showing me that our bond is strong! I knew it before and I certainly know it now. I cherish her and all of her cute moments of mothering Isaac and directing Ella in the fun little games they play together. I love that she has grown up a bit since we brought the kiddos home. She makes some independent decisions, helps me, talks to me like a little lady. These are all very fun to hear and see for a mom! I'm looking forward to the time that lies ahead...I'd just like to have the swatting and eye poking come to a quick halt!

Life As We Know It...Part I

So here is my chance to give my opinion, viewpoint, perspective or rendition of how life is for each of us here in the Knight home now that we have 6 people, 2 dogs, 2 fish, and a partridge and a pear tree! NO, some of these thoughts and ideas are NOT theirs, they are mine! So, YES, I am projecting my feelings onto their situations. But, it's a mom's gut-intuition!

Oldest Sister: LEAH

The days and weeks when Ella and Isaac arrived home were very upsetting to Leah. It wasn't the crying or the mad or sad emotional state that one might expect. It was a different response. It was a response that we should have tried to predict, but didn't...couldn't. It was a response maybe typical from a child with a diagnosis of autism.

Leah removed herself from all things related to Ella and Isaac! She sat herself at her computer and clicked away, which we allowed because she needed to remove herself. She chose to go downstairs to swing and listen to music. Literally, she chose to be wherever Ella and Isaac were NOT. We didn't push Leah to be with her new siblings. This addition to our family is not only a change, to Leah it is considered a complete disruption to her routine, her home environment and her family dynamics. UNACCEPTABLE!

For those who know Leah you know that she scripts sometimes. You know, repeats parts of movies or TV shows. She says them in sometimes appropriate situations and sometimes not. Well, she chose to script about all of the witches, bad princesses, etc. about me...to me! This stunk! I cried a good many evenings~a good many nights. I tried to hug her, hold her, provide that 'special attention' that I know she needed and maybe wanted. To no avail. My heart was breaking.

So, in my mind, I'm thinking...we've worked so hard for so many years to teach her, give her therapy, to get her to a point where she is comfortable in so many social situations. And now her own mommy brings these 2 "babies" home and ruins it all. Am I going to cause her to regress with her autistic tendencies? Am I going to ruin all of the work she has done and worked for? What have I done? Have I made a selfish decision and sacrificed Leah? My heart ached day after day and night after night.

TODAY:

Leah co-exists with Ella and Isaac. She doesn't embrace them like she does Logan, but Logan and her have a twin-bond! And E and I are still new! Just last night, I peeked into the play room and I saw Logan, Leah and Ella playing in a circle with some fun toys! It was a reassuring step in the right direction. Yeah, she still yells at Ella, "Hey, don't do that!" when Ella lunges for a hug and kiss goodnight! But, hey...baby steps, right?

And did I ruin her progress? No, her home teacher still comes and she is still as bright as the day we left to get the kiddos in Ethiopia...if not more so! She is learning more everyday, spelling words, reading words, is a number guru and making social strides everyday. And to my happiness, I am no longer the witch of Snow White, and she even asks to hug me and cuddle me! This makes that broken, weeping heart I had a few weeks back swell with all of that Mommy love!!!!!

And A Family of 6, We Are

Nearly three weeks after we arrived home to one of the most beautiful scenes ever witnessed at an airport, I am now able to sit down and make a full report of the Knight Family! Get ready...this could be intense! Somewhat like our lives right now!!! Teehee!!!

Ethiopia Gotcha Trip

Ethiopia was even more beautiful this time! The sun shone more and we were able to enjoy the bright greens, the beautiful flowers and the wonderful blue sky that the rainy season had blessed them with. Although the people of Ethiopia HATE the cold (60's) and the rain (MUD!!!), the beauty of their country just glares when the sun shines after a good portion of this season. We were blessed to see this and feel the happiness this brought us.

We arrived late Monday night, in the dark again, but it wasn't raining this time. All was well when we saw the friendly face of our driver from the Lodge! I LOVE that guy!

We were told to be prepared in the morning around 9:30 (that's 2:30 AM our time after a 17 hours in the air and more in airports!!!) so we could have the opportunity to meet the birth parents of both Ella and Isaac. We were THRILLED with this news. We knew it was a remote possibility before we traveled, but knowing that both children were born in very remote villages in the south of Ethiopia (near Kenya) we didn't set our hearts on the fact that they would make the trip. There are no roads and it is very rough terrain to get out of their villages, but they made the 6+ hour trip north to the big capital city of Addis Ababa simply to meet us for less than 2 hours. Because we will save the details for Ella and Isaac, as these are their private pieces of information, you simply can know that this was an AMAZING and emotional time for both the birth parents as well as Josh and I. Not to mention a few bits of humor and personality came out through the talks!!! Great memories! I was able to hug and embrace both of the birth parents and for this I thank God!

Later that afternoon, we were brought to Enat Alem. It was like we were home! We saw the gates of the orphanage and I couldn't get out of the van fast enough! I literally barged through the gate to look into the courtyard to see if Ella was dancing around. And what did I see...Miss Ella, all dressed in one of the dresses we had brought on the visit trip, her hair done so specifically, her shoes on and smiles all around!!!! But no Isaac!!! Where? What??? Sleeping! He had a severe virus and needed his rest. Not much longer into the good-bye coffee ceremony, out came an orange and white striped Isaac all groggy and sweet!!!!

Leaving the orphanage was very emotional. We are so sure that the children are loved and cared for. And this proves it!!!! We believe Ella has memories of vans of being taken to doctors, new orphanages, etc. And where were these new white people taking her? Into a van! So the nurse and caretakers embraced her fully, wrapped her in love and kissed her with so much love and placed her in Daddy's arms into the unknown. Tears were falling from every one's eyes, screams of fear came from Ella and my heart was breaking for Ella and Isaac as we were once again pulling them from the comfort of the known.

It wasn't too long back at Sadula that Ella cracked a smile at us. It was all good from there out...except when we had to get into the van again the next day:( Isaac on the other hand, he was in pure shut-down mode. We were very familiar with this possibility and ready. He slept on my shoulder and wanted nothing to do with Josh. (Broke Daddy's heart a bit, being the only BOY!!!) He needed one person (probably the one with boobs! like his caretakers) and one person only. So he slept on my shoulder and chest and had very little affect. Sad. It was days before he would do anything other than be on my body. A necessary part of transition for him. I didn't mind the little man on me!!! But I knew he was hurting.

The next day was gotcha day at the embassy! Signed, sealed and delivered! Visa's were granted the following day at 10:00 am! On this day we were also treated to an unbelievable traditional luncheon and coffee ceremony at our contact's home in Addis. It was such a blessing to experience the country in this manner...and on a National Fasting Day (a treat for a vegetarian!!!) You may notice my traditional clothing and head scarf I was donned with in the picture above. Another treat!

Saturday was the last day we spent in Ethiopia. We flew out at 11:35 pm. So we had much of the day to enjoy the kids, pack and...take care of Ella's hair!!! I asked Josh to take her down to the front desk to see if anyone within the hotel did braiding, as we really weren't supposed to leave the hotel with the kids. The lady at the front desk waved her finger back and forth in dismay and said, "No, no, no, you need salon!" Haha!!!! So, Daddy and Ella walked one block outside of the hotel gate and Ella got braids!!! She thought she was HOT STUFF!!!! Oh and you ask how much???? Converted=$4.00!!!!!

Flying home was a trip...not a trip like, "Hey let's take a trip!" No like, "Life's a trip!" Holy crap! Literally!!! Remember back up in this post I stated that Isaac had a severe virus so he needed his rest?! Well, this virus caused him to poop! And poop, and poop, and poop, and poop! I mean this wasn't just regular old baby poop. This was stinky, ranky, what kind of indigenous and rabid animal crawled up there, died, fermented and turned into runny juice, fell out of Isaac's bum, kind of poop! Yep, we went through 5 outfits on the flights home for him and I changed my clothes twice. And they say pack lightly for carry-ons! What a farce!

And Ella, she was a trip too! She had such an issue with the seat belts that the FAA thinks are soooooo important (teehee!!) that she cried, no...let's say screamed and the top of her lungs for 30 minutes about wearing the belt...until, when....YEP...she barfed! Yep, she barfed from crying so hard about a seat belt! We had to fight the battle! Thank you FAA and thank you seat belt laws! Sorry fellow passengers! Side note, she fell asleep just before landing. Icing on the cake. *nice*!

The arrival home at the airport was so amazing! We quickly changed the kids clothes into something less poopy and for Ella, a pretty dress instead of her comfy jammies. With the heavy load of carry-ons that we had (sorry Lufsthansa!) we trooped down to be met by what we expected to be a group of 10 or so! Exciting!!! My heart was beating for all of them to meet the kids and for me to see Leah and Logan (I missed them sooooo much more on this trip!!!). But when we rounded the corner, we saw at least 25-30 people waiting there with balloons, gifts, cameras, and beaming smiles and tears! It was an amazing 1 hour long welcome party!!!!! THANK YOU to all that came and welcomed our stinky selves home!!!!!

The next few posts, it is my hope, to address each of the family members. How the adjustment is going, pros and cons and ups and downs; new experiences for each of these people and what this household is REALLY like for each member of this family (from my perspective...this ought to be good)!!!!