Looking...

Yep...I'm looking again! I know, I'm looking all of the time. But I can't seem to find what really makes me happy! Looking, you ask? Looking for what, you ask?

I'm looking for the ONE job that makes me feel like I'm doing my life's work! I can't seem to find that! I know that I had it when I taught kiddos who were deaf or hard of hearing in Ionia County. But I left that for a once in a lifetime opportunity at Michigan State. That was soooo cool! But it just didn't last...then ever since that, my professional life has been a...well...er, um, aaah, jeesh, a F^%#$&G Mess!!!!!! (did I just say that!?) Yep, it's not that I hate where I'm working now, it's just that it's not with kiddos, with my kiddos! That's what's wrong right now. Not happy in my work. And to leave my kids everyday, to miss them growing, changing, playing and being the little ladies that they are, I want to LOVE the work that I do...

I always said I'd never want to be a stay-at-home mom because I'd go crazy or because I am in love with my profession...um, not so any more! Deaf education is still a passion but my babies are it for me! That's all I want to do and think about! I LOVE BEING A MOM! Now that we're adding to our family, I seem to be begging Josh to let me be a full-time mom or even a part-time working mom. His answer is always the same...silence, eye roll, and an exasperated "NO!" Why do I always have to be the insurance gatherer for our family? Why does insurance have to mandate how we raise our children? Grrrrrr.... I'd love to start a preschool or do something with kids on my own...and not be under the thumb of others...but damn the insurance! Any suggestions, I'm looking for 'em? If you got 'em, I want to hear 'em because I want to turn over a new leaf and change my life and my children's!!!! Seriously...what am I to do here??? HELP!!! :)