Life As We Know It...Part I

So here is my chance to give my opinion, viewpoint, perspective or rendition of how life is for each of us here in the Knight home now that we have 6 people, 2 dogs, 2 fish, and a partridge and a pear tree! NO, some of these thoughts and ideas are NOT theirs, they are mine! So, YES, I am projecting my feelings onto their situations. But, it's a mom's gut-intuition!

Oldest Sister: LEAH

The days and weeks when Ella and Isaac arrived home were very upsetting to Leah. It wasn't the crying or the mad or sad emotional state that one might expect. It was a different response. It was a response that we should have tried to predict, but didn't...couldn't. It was a response maybe typical from a child with a diagnosis of autism.

Leah removed herself from all things related to Ella and Isaac! She sat herself at her computer and clicked away, which we allowed because she needed to remove herself. She chose to go downstairs to swing and listen to music. Literally, she chose to be wherever Ella and Isaac were NOT. We didn't push Leah to be with her new siblings. This addition to our family is not only a change, to Leah it is considered a complete disruption to her routine, her home environment and her family dynamics. UNACCEPTABLE!

For those who know Leah you know that she scripts sometimes. You know, repeats parts of movies or TV shows. She says them in sometimes appropriate situations and sometimes not. Well, she chose to script about all of the witches, bad princesses, etc. about me...to me! This stunk! I cried a good many evenings~a good many nights. I tried to hug her, hold her, provide that 'special attention' that I know she needed and maybe wanted. To no avail. My heart was breaking.

So, in my mind, I'm thinking...we've worked so hard for so many years to teach her, give her therapy, to get her to a point where she is comfortable in so many social situations. And now her own mommy brings these 2 "babies" home and ruins it all. Am I going to cause her to regress with her autistic tendencies? Am I going to ruin all of the work she has done and worked for? What have I done? Have I made a selfish decision and sacrificed Leah? My heart ached day after day and night after night.

TODAY:

Leah co-exists with Ella and Isaac. She doesn't embrace them like she does Logan, but Logan and her have a twin-bond! And E and I are still new! Just last night, I peeked into the play room and I saw Logan, Leah and Ella playing in a circle with some fun toys! It was a reassuring step in the right direction. Yeah, she still yells at Ella, "Hey, don't do that!" when Ella lunges for a hug and kiss goodnight! But, hey...baby steps, right?

And did I ruin her progress? No, her home teacher still comes and she is still as bright as the day we left to get the kiddos in Ethiopia...if not more so! She is learning more everyday, spelling words, reading words, is a number guru and making social strides everyday. And to my happiness, I am no longer the witch of Snow White, and she even asks to hug me and cuddle me! This makes that broken, weeping heart I had a few weeks back swell with all of that Mommy love!!!!!