Daddy-O

So, it's not too often that I get to put words into Josh's mouth. But it's my blog, right? Teehee! I get to do what I want, right? Actually, I've learned better over the 11+years of marriage and the multiple years prior to that of being "friends" (my mom's term for her daughter having a serious boyfriend). After some thought, I've decided to only write what I'm absolutely 100% positive about.

GOODBYE!

HAHA!!!

Sleep

Josh is tired. He is the one who gets up with Isaac. And you all read about how well I-man sleeps...or doesn't. And many of you are asking, why in the world is Josh the one who is getting up with Isaac? I simply do not function without sleep. Period. I don't move, don't talk, don't act nice, don't...anything. Josh can, and Josh does! So, Josh wakes up 3-5 times a night and possibly stays awake 2 hours at a time. God bless this man! Isaac may starve and cry all his tears out without him. No, not true! (*fingers crossed*)

Mornings

Daddy does mornings all on his own! Dresses, feeds, puts in the van and takes them to daycare.. SOLO! Mom accepted a new job where she leaves the house at 6:30am. So what does that mean? Dad puts on his cape at about 6:25 and swoops in for an hour to save the day!!! SUPER DAD!!!!

Transportation

Josh drives a mini-van. He still tries to rock out in the maroon beast. It just doesn't work for me. The power doors are cool! That's it...

Attitude

He always thinks he's right! What? A mom's intuition isn't good enough? Nope! Not for Josh. My opinion is like the sidecar. A nice extra, but unnecessary for a good time. If he'd just listen to me, life would be better. (That's an opinion, but I'm 100% sure about that opinion!)

More

Josh: "No more kids! Are you ^&*$ing kidding?" That's it...

Isaac...AKA...I-Man...AKA..I y'I

Here I am again, this time to properly introduce (as properly as it can possibly be on a blog) the youngest Knight! Here he is: Isaac Yonas Joshua Knight!!!

Isaac: Another name that we simply just liked. The name sounds appropriate for all ages, for a boy or a man of Ethiopian ethnicity and it started with a vowel! Teehee! Sorry, so superficial on the last criteria, I know! There were other first names that we were throwing around, but this one was thrown out and it stuck...fast!

Yonas: We also informed Isaac's birth mother that we would be keeping his birth name and she was grateful, but I don't think she ever expected us to change his name anyway. She looked almost shocked, in my opinion, that we would even consider changing his name. So, I guess I would have to say it was a look of relief on her face and in her body language. She didn't say anything about it. I'm okay with that.

Joshua: Named for his Daddy, of course! Named for the sleepless man who wakes each and every night, every 2-3 hours to feed this hungry little thing! Named for the Daddy who never thought he would have a son to raise but seemed so proud to say for the first time, "That's my son!" Gives my butterflies every time I think about that...yet!

Who is that Little Boy with the Dimples and Curly Soft Hair????

Okay, you have to admit, no matter how much your child poops, projectile vomits, cries during the day or plays in the middle of the night, DIMPLES make everything better, right??? Well, Isaac has some of the cutest dimples carved into his brown little cheeks that a little boy could ever have. Not to mention some of the most amazing soft curls of black hair on top of that little head! Oye, he's a heart breaker! I just could eat him up! MMMM, MMMMM, MMMMMMM!

You may have caught the fact that this little cutie is no little angel...he is one of the worst sleepers in the hemisphere; he has a temper of a rabid beast. I mean, this little boy will turn on the water works for the simple reason of walking out of a room without him, a toy isn't turned the right direction, or he's having a diaper change. I mean comm'on...Isaac...I saw how the caretakers changed your diaper at Enat Alem...I know for a fact that they tied that cloth diaper so tight that it literally almost made your belly button pop back open. Now that's something to cry about. I'm gentle, I'm caressing, I'm soothing, I'm helpful...don't cry, scream, turn, fuss, and create a scene! Really now!

Playing

I y'I has a few little things he likes to do that we would consider playing.

• Sitting on the trampoline and letting his big sisters bounce him. Good times for any 18 pounder!
• Zooming cars down a little race car track...a bit repetitive, but still fun for him after, oh about 1,600 runs down the track. More good times!
• Anything outside...he's an outdoors man!
• Folding clothes. Actually he enjoys taking a quick ride on top of the warm laundry in the laundry basket from the dryer to the spot where I'm gonna fold. Then he "folds" the clothes by throwing up a handful and doing a quick crawl-dash under them so the warm (once-clean) clothes land on his head and back. Yeah, it's cute...his sweet giggle adds to the joy!

Bonding and Attachment

We're attached, bonded, stuck, glued, forever a trio! Isaac has great eye contact, hates when we put him down, cries when we leave, and has some stranger anxiety. Bonded...period! YEAH!!!! And I'm completely bonded and attached to him too!

Sleep

He doesn't get enough, thus we don't get enough. The boy enjoys his time awake in the middle of the night...what can I say. We've tried so many things. You all could post your comments about, "try this" and "try that". I'd reply, "been there", "done that". Because we have. He doesn't sleep well nor does he nap well. He's like a robot...a feisty little robot!

Eating

Because Isaac came home so incredibly anemic and with that awful virus, he is on both iron supplemented as well as soy formula. So he gets this when he signs for it and on a schedule! Yes, he tells us he's hungry using his sign language!!! He's amazing! We did try baby foods for him too, so we were sure to balance his diet and nutritional intake. Bah! This muncher needed real-man food! Haha! Ix-Nay on the baby foods! He's all about whatever is on the table for the rest of us!!! AMEN! This is sooooo much easier! Leah and Logan were on baby foods for sooooooo long and this is cake in comparison! He's a machine with food! Starting at 4:30 or so, he'll eat an hors' devour (snack), then dinner, then a post hors' devour (some of our dinner), then a bottle before bed. Oh yeah, he's gained some weight...and grown some hair and his nails are growing, and, and, and!!!! (as you'll see in the pic below, he also likes to do his feedings on his own...aka spaghetti face)

And that is Isaac in a nutshell! He's a typical fun-loving baby boy with a bit of a temper! The temper will serve him well some day...it could cool off this early in life, but we can handle anything! Clearly!!!!!

Ella - - - She's Home!!!!!

We'd like to introduce our daughter, with her full given name, Ella Miheret Sidama Knight. Let me explain her name to all of you!!!

Ella: We just like it! Timeless, simple, sweet, ageless, not an "L" but close!

Miheret: Her birth name as given to her by her birth parents. This is very important to us as to preserve who she IS. It was also very special to her birth father! He bowed his head in gratefulness when we told him that we would keep her birth name. As many of you know, we also kept the twins' birth names as middle names. Very special to us now and forever!

Sidama: A last minute decision on our part! We didn't know what to do with this third name...but all of the other children had 2 middle names so we felt that we wanted to do this for Ella too. We thought, tried, processed...nothing seemed right. When we were in Ethiopia visiting the region that she was born in, we learned of the area she was from. It is called Sidama. It's also the name of the language her village speaks as well as the name of the calendar that her village uses. Thus, "Sidama" is part of Ella. It only seemed appropriate and the best fit for her! Each time we use the word, call her by this particular name, she gets all giddy and says, "E-pee-oo-pee-a"!!!

Life As We Know It

I probably could write a complete non-fiction about Ella and the experiences that we've shared in the short time she's been home, but I will do my best to share only the ones that I feel will be most beneficial to other families who are planning to bring home children who are "older" versus under a year of age, as well as for those of you who just will get some idea of what we, as couples who choose build our families through adoption, 'go through' or deal with as a result of bring home a child who is 'older'. Not to mention for those of you who are dear friends that are reading this to see, 'where the heck have they gone since they brought home those two other kiddos???' You want to know...wheelin' and dealin' with a whole lot of everything!

Rules

Rules-schmules! No-Schmo! Boundaries-Schmoundaries! We believe Ella has CLEARLY been parented to a much different standard than our's!!! She has no concept of living within a home, with doors, that contain her which do not allow her to do what she pleases at any given time. She has a limited concept of an adult telling her no and then having that same adult follow through with that "no". AKA - Parenting 101 in the USA. She responds with a resounding gut wrenching, tearful, snot-filled, saliva-dripping screaming fit where she refuses all eye and verbal contact. If you've ever tried to force a child to look at you or talk to you, you just can't do it. I know this from working with students who are Deaf. Ella is no exception to this rule. She just adds the bodily fluid element to the fun!

Following the rules of being in a family are becoming easier for Ella and she is having fewer meltdowns. For this, I thank God. No adoption readings, trainings, or discussions with other parents can prepare anyone to deal with this effectively and efficiently the first, second or third time. I think we've got it now...think! But anyone who tells you, "Oh she just needs a good hug!" No, I disagree. She needs a million good hugs after a million consistent effective follow-throughs!!!!

Playing

Having siblings is something brand new for Ella. And to boot, she's now the middle child! Oye vay! Playing with an older set of twins, who often seem to 'have it out for her' is a challenge. It would be for any little one! She's often a fan of wanting to play with whatever Leah, Logan or even Isaac has in their hands. I often wonder, is this because she sees how to play with this toy now because she didn't know how before or is it because she wants that attention from us, positive or negative (it simply doesn't matter to her!!!)

Pretend play is her specialty though! One of the best is her coffee ceremony specialty! She goes out to our mini crab apple tree with my dad, picks a bunch of the apples, 'roasts' them, 'grinds' them by smashing them, then fans the coals of the plastic tupperware! So cute!!! She's also got great ethnic dancing skills. She loves to me how to shake my shoulders!!!! Her culture is thick and I am in love with it all! I want her to hold on to that in her play...but it's already fading. :(

Bonding and Attachment

We're still working on this. It's really slow for us. I'll be honest...she's a frustrating kiddo. I'm not gonna sugar coat this whole process for anyone who is going through an adoption of an older child...homecoming is awesome and a miracle! I do believe God placed this child in my heart, family and made her my daughter. I know that her birth family was led to make this decision by the hand of God. I will admit I've needed to count and breathe many a-time with all that happens in our home with the kids. I DO LOVE HER without hesitation, and I think she is beginning to love me!

She has not formed a strong attachment to either Josh or myself. She knows that we are mommy and daddy and knows home and her siblings. But she's also very happy to go with other people as well as complete strangers. This is cause for concern for me yet. I know it's only been a short time home living in a family structure and with us; I seem to want this to happen sooner than it probably can. I need to remind myself of all of the things that she has experienced and seen for the first time EVER, let alone gotten a mommy and daddy and a home with walls, doors and stairs. I also need to remind myself of all of the things that she experienced and learned that were appropriate in Ethiopia and in her birth family that simply aren't by our American standards. It's a slow learning curve for me. But it's a constant reminder I must give to myself.

Sleep

This has gotten MUCH better. Let's just say it used to be the same bodily fluid scream session with each nap and bedtime, but we're over that! We just have to be in her room as she falls asleep now, then we can let her rest all night! Amen!

Eating

While in Ethiopia, Ella ate all ethnic/cultural food. She loved injera!!!! In our hotel in Ethiopia she loved all of the "American" snacks and dinner foods that we brought with us...The American snacks and foods did NOT like her intestinal tract. She still has some real indigestion with certain foods that she eats. She eats almost anything...but fruit. Are you kidding...fruit?! I guess it's because there weren't many fresh fruits available to her as she grew up. She is more of a legume kind of girl!!! Go figure!!!! Nevertheless, she's also a Mylanta Kids kind of girl too!

Age

We brought home a 3 year 9 month old girl. Today we are raising a 2 year 11 month old girl. Huh, you ask?! Haha!!! We noticed Ella was a teeny-tiny-tot when we visited in July. When we came home with her, we talked to the pediatrician and she ordered a bone age test. This is simply an X-ray of the hand and wrist bones and they can approximate a child's age from those bones. Result = 2 1/2->3 years of age. Thus, with the doctor's documentation we will be changing her birth date from 2006 to 2007...didn't know we could do that, did ya?!

So, that's Ella in a nutshell. She's a dynamic, complex, happy, lovable little girl who is full of Ethiopian culture but is absorbing American culture and English every second of every day that she is HOME! We are more than thrilled to have her as our daughter, to love this little girl, to live, laugh and play with her like she has never experienced before!

Life as We Know It...Part II

Logan...Next Oldest Sister (by 2 minutes)

Logan, Logan, Logan...where do I begin with Logan? *sigh* Logan has been a dichotomy of emotions, behaviors, and words. True to form for a 5 year old little Miss, but Logan shined with new and sometimes amazing colors with the transformation of this family, but also glowed red with fire!

When we arrived home, Logan seemed to have most maternal-like instinct toward Ella and Isaac. She wanted to feed and nurture Isaac (helped to change one stinky diaper with that foul bum, and that was the end of that!), play non-stop with Ella and simply be Mommy's little helper. What a joy Logan was to have!

Day 3...

No, I'm kidding! It wasn't exactly day 3, but it didn't take Logan too long to understand that these kids were invading her territory and her 'Mom and Dad-time' was being taken. Thus, this resulted in a bit of p!$$ and vinegar to run her veins! I'm talking about, "No, I didn't poke Ella in the eye then shake her by the shoulders then call her sassy, Mom."

Mom: "Logan, is that the truth?"

Logan: "NO!"

or

Mom: "Logan, could you unlock the baby gate to let Ella up the stairs please."

Logan's action: Go to the gate and sneer at Ella.

Mom and Logan have had some evenings together, some FRANK discussions, and some discussions about how God truly wants us to act as his people. We have had some sleep overs in her bed, some sleep overs in my bed (on top of me! OYE) and just some plain cuddling time! We have even implemented a positive behavior intervention tool (teacher talk for bribe)! I tried to talk with Logan that our house and the way it 'is', is just different now. It's busier, it's louder, it's just different. Well, one day she told me, out of the blue, "Mama, I don't want my house to be different." That's all it took for me that day. *Tears, tears, tears* I lost it! And she knew what made me lose it! So a few days later, in a moment of, what shall we say, !stress!, Logan pulls out the 'ole, "I just don't want our house to be different." *NO tears*

Ella and Isaac have now been home for 5 weeks and all of this "Hands are for helping", "Use words first", "Telling the truth is God's way" is slow to sink in. I'm talking G-L-A-C-I-A-L movement. She knows what is right from wrong, but 'gol-darn-it, that Ella is just too darn frustrating to control it, I guess!?

At school, Logan is doing great! The teacher's have commented how much she has grown up since last year, how her sentences describing things are so much better. Behavior isn't an issue when some little sister isn't around!!! Go figure?!

But this isn't to say that Ella and Logan never get along. They do occasionally have some excellent play sessions. I mean, fire and ice go together during magic shows, don't they? :) They like to play dress up and play babies. Ella will play hide and seek and Logan is the director of that! Both will do family game night without too much problem, as long as Ella "doesn't cheat" according to Logan! Teehee! But when Logan's had enough or when Ella wants what Logan's got...game over...watch out...TKO!

I love my Logan for what she is doing. She is showing me that our bond is strong! I knew it before and I certainly know it now. I cherish her and all of her cute moments of mothering Isaac and directing Ella in the fun little games they play together. I love that she has grown up a bit since we brought the kiddos home. She makes some independent decisions, helps me, talks to me like a little lady. These are all very fun to hear and see for a mom! I'm looking forward to the time that lies ahead...I'd just like to have the swatting and eye poking come to a quick halt!